"I paused, but the only sound from the wall was Maxie's uneven breathing, "So I'm sorry I was awful to you. You didn't deserve it, and I'm sorry I took your first kiss after I'd been so mean to you. Sorry about your hand."There was a long silence in which I worried that Maxie had fallen asleep."Jes?" Yes?" Put your hand on the wall, with your thumb right by the hole." I did so, not quite knowing why, "My hand is there too. I wish it felt warm." Maxie?"One knock for yes."Thank you." And then I lost the grip on consciousness I didn't know I'd been holding.I dreamt him dead again. In the dream I walk down the steps to the Hyde Park toilets, my best leather brogues clattering noisesomly on the tiles as I descend, a skip and a hop. I got to urinal, empty white porcelain, the air thick with bleach over washed with floral scents that do nothing for the nose. I look in the mirror as I piss, meet my own gaze, and Narcissus-like smile at my reflection, my pale pink skin, my clear round eyes.. I am 25 years old. This happened to me when I was 18 years old. I used to live in a joint family with 2 cousin brothers and a cousin sister. I have a sister named Priyanka who is 3 years elder to me and a brother who is 1 and half years younger to me. You would be shocked to know but I used to be a really innocent girl when I was very young. Me, my sister, brother and my cousins, we all were really close since we had grown up together.Me and my sister shared a room with an attached bathroom. I had noticed my sister making way to the bathroom way too often. I don’t know why I noticed that but I grew suspicious. She would spend a long time in the bathroom and this made me really curious. One afternoon she went on her usual long trip to the bathroom while I was in the room listening to music on my headphones. When she didn’t return for a while I decided to check on her. I put my headphones aside and when to the bathroom door. I couldn’t hear anything so I decided to put my ear on the.
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